Lately I have been trying to simplify. At the point I’m at in my life, there are some things and people that I need to put on hold for awhile. I’m holding onto bare minimum essentials, changing things up, and generally just needing some peace. Tonight will be my last night on Facebook for awhile. I’ll miss certain things about it. I’ve enjoyed watching everyone grow up, get married, have babies and celebrate life. I also enjoy the platform it provides me to encourage others who may be having a rough time. But now it’s time to focus on the things closest to me: my husband, my children and my family. Pretty much everything else is getting put on the back burner for awhile. I need a break. I’m drained and I’m tapping out for this round.
This time that Tim has in school simultaneously seems short and long. I know in hindsight it will seem like no time at all, but for now, while he’s there, life is happening. Now. Life is happening now. I’ve learned from past mistakes that when life gets hectic, spending time on social media, or away from home takes a toll on my marriage and my kids. So I’m not making the same mistakes again. I’m batting down the hatches and riding this out from the comfort and safety of home. Of course, I will not be a recluse, but I’m learning to love being in the home. In my place. No, this isn’t a sexist 1950s cliche. This is me- realizing, understanding, and embracing the role that God has called me to: in my home. Taking care of my children, teaching them, caring for my house, and yes, doing the darn laundry. If you know anything about me, you know what a struggle it is for me some days to enjoy my role as “stay-at-home.” It’s tough for me to watch other women who seem to “have it all” balancing a career they love, and children. That’s great for them, but I know it’s not what I’m meant to do right now. I need to remember that I keep trying to compare apples and oranges. Every family is different, every child is different and I’m doing what’s best for mine and that gives me comfort when I feel anxious and restless staying at home. Plus, who ever said, “Stay-at-home” means you actually have to stay at home all day? I plan to get out more. It would seem my decision comes a little late in the year as our days and hours of nice weather get fewer and fewer. But I don’t want my kids to look back on the period Tim was in school as remembering that Mom was boring, depressed, anti-social and a recluse. So I will be working on my relationships with my family, and enjoying all the good that will come of that.
I’m not sure when I’ll be returning to Facebook. I’ll still be on Instagram: ashleykrupnik and I will still be writing here in my diary.
Other than that, I’m taking a break. Adieu loves!
Till Next Time,