Tuck Me In

Dear Diary,

Every night, Tim shuffles the kids upstairs, reads the Bible with all three of them, they sing a few songs, and he picks them all up in a big “Daddy Hug.” Then he spends some time individually with each child before giving them one last hug and kiss for the night. This time is very special to them all and it gives me such a warm fuzzy feeling to see how much my husband loves, cherishes and guides our kids. That’s their time with Daddy and they look forward to it every day. The other night though, Jadon wanted to tuck Lilly in all by himself. So after the usual ritual, he followed Lilly into her room and climbed up onto her bed after her. He sat and read her 2 stories. Then he sang her a song, put her “blankie” on her, kissed her and said, “G’night Lilly!” and went to bed himself. So sweet! The next day, Lilly told me all about it. She loved it! Jadon was acting like it wasn’t “all that” but I could tell he enjoyed it too. Then at lunch, Jadon asked me if he could make himself and his sister PB&J sandwiches. Determined to say “yes” more often, I took a deep breath in anticipation of the sticky mess I was going to have to clean and said, “Sure Bud.” I left the room to give him his independence and called in occasionally to ask how he was doing. “Doing great, Mom! Just makin’ sandwiches!” I laughed and reminded him to clean up after himself. I think those were the most delicious sandwiches either of the kids had ever eaten. Jadon’s- because he had made it himself, and Lilly’s- because her big brother who loves her, made it himself. I smiled to see there was no mess left behind and made Matthew his lunch.

It’s becoming more and more apparent to me that this whole “team” mentality that we are striving to instill in our kids is working for the most part. It’s nice to see our kids working together. Of course, this does not mean they act this way ALL the time, or even most of the time. I mean, they are siblings, so there’s inevitably the typical  spats and disagreements that they get in to. But these moments remind me that they DO love each other so much and that makes my heart glad.

You know how they say you never fully appreciate something till you don’t have it anymore? Well I feel like that is the case with my sisters and I sometimes. I grew up knowing they’d be my sisters forever, built-in best friends, blah, blah, blah. But I know often times I didn’t ACT like I knew that. I don’t know exactly what I would have done differently if I could “go back and do again”, but I know I miss them. One of them is studying at NAU, and one is way over in Tennessee studying at Lee. I miss them both so much. It was so easy to take our relationships for granted when they lived with my parents and were always around. Now we all have family, jobs, school and schedules to contend with. Time spent together is all the more precious, and the times we miss with them are that much more painful. I am so proud of them and happy that they are doing so well “on their own.” I would want nothing less for them, but I miss them. I think the hardest part of it for me was the “left behind” feeling. Off they went to new exciting places to explore the world and they left me here in the desert. This isn’t how I envisioned it. I don’t know if I ever really thought of the possibility that we would live in different places and states too far to just “hop in the car and go.” This feeling sucks. Makes me miss my childhood. It helps a little that I’m older and in a different place in my life, married, kids, house etc. But I still feel like part of me got ripped away when they left. They really are my best friends for life. Speaks to the way my parents raised us and I am glad to have those two awesome ladies in my life. I just wish I could see them more. It’s fun though, getting to know them now as adults. I feel like I’ve been an adult forever, since I got married and had babies so young. My sisters are both now into the adult phase and it’s nice to be able to relate to them more on that level.

Well, this blog took an unexpected turn and didn’t wind up where I thought that it would, but I find sometimes that just blogging it out helps the feelings. Aly & Abby, I love and miss you so very much and I hope we continue to stay close and become closer. You guys are so amazing and I am so blessed and thankful Mom & Dad decided to give me little sisters. (You know I’m the ONLY reason you guys exist right? 😉  Had I not BEGGED for you, you wouldn’t be here… credit where it’s due. Haha.)

Till Next Time,



One thought on “Tuck Me In

  1. love you ash! i miss you too!! 😦 i hope that i have an awesome hubby like tim one day…i think i might have found him tho…we’ll see! love you!

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