Moving On

Dear Diary,

After a good discussion this last weekend with several people I admire very much who are older and wiser, I came to the conclusion that I need a break from Facebook. I need to not be able to see “everything.” I am evaluating whether or not I will return from said break, and if I do, to what extent. We will see. All I know is, it’s just too much right now. There is no offense intended towards anyone and it’s not because of one single person that I am doing this, it’s just a collective number of reasons.

I was able to get a lot of work done on my website for Ashley Jane Photography this week so far and I am so excited for it to launch! My web designer, an old friend from high school, has been doing an amazing job on helping me get it set up and he is so patient with me as I am learning how to edit and design it for myself so that I can “take over” my website and be able to make changes as I want to when we’re all done. I would love for some volunteers to browse through the site and let me know honestly what they think of it. Please let me know if you would like a “sneak peek” in exchange for some feedback. 🙂 Also, I’ve re-designed my photography blog as well! It’s already been “up” for awhile, but you can look at the changes if you like! Just click HERE  (it will open in a new window)…..

This is all very exciting to me!!! I am revamping my prices as well and trying to streamline everything. This has been a fun adventure so far, I hope it lasts.

Jadon has recently gotten into K’Nex toys. Tim had inherited these from his childhood and a few months ago, we decided he was old enough to start playing with them. He has really taken off with these! They aren’t really intended for kids his age, but he is really good at putting them together! It’s funny, he started out just watching and handing the pieces to Dad and just observing how it all came together. He would attempt it on his own and get really frustrated when he couldn’t do it. So for awhile it was all observation and assisting as Dad, or Granddad would build the creations. Then he started getting the hang of building simple things on his own. When building with Dad or Granddad, they would always build it exactly to the specifications in the manual. But one evening, Papaw and Momo were over (my grandparents) and Papaw and Jadon disappeared into the front room while Momo and I chatted for about an hour and a half. He kept coming in, saying how excited he was to finish the project they were working on and finally when they were done, he was so proud. Then Papaw showed him how to modify the design without altering the function to work better or different and Jadon totally latched onto that. He loves to do that! And now he is building pretty advanced contraptions and altering them to work differently or better on his own. Tim and I marvel at him. He is so smart. We were discussing how he is so very like both of us. He, like Tim, has the focus to sit down and work on this “puzzle” for hours. (Something I would NOT have the patience for.) and yet, like me, he will build it and change it however he wants. He has both the engineering from Tim and the creative from me. He recently went through a phase of sneaking crayons into his room and drawing these little murals on his wall at night or when he was supposed to be napping. Tim asked him one night why he was doing this. He said, “Dad, I have all these pictures in my brain and I want to get them out!” After Tim told me this, I thought, “What this kid needs is a sketch book!” So the next day, off we went to Target and and him a sketch book, pencils and a pencil box. For about a week straight, it was all he ever did. He would sketch everything from people, to dad’s work building (which he did from memory… we’ve only been there twice) and our TVs, one of me sleeping, flowers, the tray and decor on our coffee table…etc. etc. etc. This kid has a lot in his head! I am finding it difficult to keep him constantly mentally stimulated. The K’Nex toys really help with that, as he will literally sit for hours and hours and just build away. He began a water plane last night which he finished this morning and now he is building a fully functional ferris wheel. So if anyone is looking for birthday or Christmas gift ideas, he would LOVE more of this  stuff!! Here’s their website: http://www.knex.com/ He is working on intermediate and advanced things, so you can search kits on the left side of the page based on difficulty.

Alrighty then, I should get going, I’ve got to take Matthew in for a check-up with his pediatrician in a bit so I need to go get ready.

Till Next Time,

Ashley

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One thought on “Moving On

  1. Ashley,
    I found your blog through a link you posted. I am a blogger too and I hope it’s ok to comment. What you posted here is exactly what I have been dealing with for about a year now. When my husband and I had Devin, we knew he would be our last. I knew this and so the pregnancy was that much sweeter. I know it seems weird because so many moms will look like you have grown a third head when you tell them you were pregnant and loved it, but I know what you feel. I loved every minute of it. Even the bad times (nausea, weight gain, mood swings, eating like mad, lack of sleep, achy breasts, swollen ankles) I knew it was all for that beautiful blessing I’d soon hold. So now that he is here and almost 4, I find myself asking if we are too late? I sometimes (and by sometimes, I mean every day) ask myself if it is possible for just one more? I know that I can’t keep having kids, I am older now, and every pregnancy I’ve had was tough and the bounce back harder each time. I cried a lot over it. I know how you feel and it breaks my heart because I know it is a pain that many will never truly understand. It’s difficult to explain even my husband doesn’t really get it. I can tell you it does get easier. It helps if you focus on the great really awesome things that you get to experience now with your kids. Seeing my kids growing up isn’t a sad thing for me. I am excited to show them things I did as kid, and take road trips that don’t require naps and packing three extra suitcases for diapers. There is joy in that too. I found that if I made a list and I wrote down memories about them being little it helped. It made me nostalgic and sad too because I know those are memories I won’t have again… but I am creating new ones each day with the kids too. And I write those down too. It does get easier…. It may not feel like it now, but it does. Another thing you can do…. If you are at church and you get those pangs in your heart for a baby, ask the mom if you can hold their baby. Give her a small window to rest and just listen to the message at church. See if you can set up a day with her to stop by and hold the baby for them while they do laundry or just take a shower. I had a few ladies from church do this for me when Devin was small. It’s something a lot of moms would LOVE and just don’t want to ask for because they don’t want to impose on you…. But it’s a blessing, and it helps you get your baby fix too. Good luck to you….. And thank you for writing and sharing so honestly about something many of us moms feel and don’t talk about.

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