The Wicked City Woman

Dear Diary,

Something unexplainable happens to me whenever I listen to Big Band music of any kind. I turn into a “Wicked City Woman.” I walk like one, sometimes talk like one and definitely imagine I’m dressed like one. Yes, my imagination gets the better of me and instantly I’m in a fabulous long black dress dripping in diamonds and pearls walking around with a “hitch in my get-along” looking for someone to “vamp.” If you watch this clip from my favorite TV Show, “I Love Lucy”, you’ll get the idea:

My kids and Tim laugh at me, but who cares? They’re stuck in the 21st century here whilst I’m traipsing around in the 40s and 50s in glamour and glitter.

Matthew rolled over onto his tummy to sleep last night and Tim woke me up this morning to say goodbye before work and told me about it. I freaked out just a little and quickly asked Tim to make sure Matthew was okay. I was quiet so I could hear him breathing. Of course he was still breathing, I just wanted to be sure 🙂 He was laying there on his tummy with his legs stretched out and his thumb in his mouth. He looked much older. *sigh* Every kid has done this to me. It’s like clockwork around 4 mos old they all start rolling over to sleep on their tummy and every time, I get just a little paranoid about it. But there’s nothing really to be done about it and I know they will be just fine. 

Also, question: why is it that some parents feel obligated to make it seem like every single thought or idea that a toddler has is totally right? Correct! Brilliant! You can’t honestly tell me that toddlers ALWAYS have good ideas. Mine get some pretty terrible ones sometimes… 

“Hey mom! How about we buy all this candy and then go eat it?” (Bad idea)

“Hey Lilly, let’s climb on top of your kitchen set!” (BAD idea)

“Hey J.J- come push me in my baby stroller over by the stairs” (Horrible idea)

“Hey mom! How about I don’t take a nap today?” (Really BAD BAD BAD idea…worst idea EVER)

So yes, my toddlers come up with their share of bad ideas and I don’t hesitate to tell them, “Uhhh…no. That’s not a good idea.” So they have learned to counter this in 2 ways:

1.) They will begin a sentence, “HEY! I’ve got a GREAT idea!…” therefore making it seem to them that there is no way I would argue with their logic and say “No.”

2.) When I say, “Hey, it’s time to clean up.” or something else equally unpleasant, they say, “That’s not a very good idea, Mom.”

Not cool guys, not cool.

My chicken dish last night turned out great! …For Tim and I. The kids hated it. I felt bad, but it tasted good, they just didn’t like all the veggies, so we made them eat it. Afterall, one cannot go through life refusing to eat things they don’t like. Makes family dinners, first dates and those meals your spouse really tried hard for, really awkward. The way I see it, I’m training my boys to eat things a woman makes for them even if they don’t like it (without complaining). You’re welcome, future daughters-in-law. (And thank you to my own Mother-in-law for instilling this in my husband 🙂 ) And for Lilly, she’s just picky about everything in the most ridiculous way so she just needs to get over it. Oh! and for the record, Tim is an excellent cook! But you know we all have little “experiments” we try out trying to impress someone that don’t turn out well. At least I have. Speaking of experiments that don’t turn out well, I attempted to make pumpkin donuts yesterday. I followed the recipe and the donuts were….flat. Lame sauce. The very first tray of them that I did turned out crispy, so I set those aside for our dog, Charlie. He loves them, so we’ll keep that first batch around for a treat for him. The next batch was a little better, but I think the recipe needs more baking powder…or baking soda…whatever stuff you use to make things…not flat. Well, I had leftover batter once I realized this donut thing was not going to work, so I got out my muffin tin and put paper cups in it and made them into muffins. Or cupcakes. I suppose they are cupcakes because I will be putting a cream cheese frosting on them. (Thanks for the clarification, Brittany, that makes sense 🙂 ) They taste delicious, but they are very filling. haha. The Pear Brunch Bread I made turned out well though! So at least one cooking attempt yesterday was a success 🙂

It’s that time:

443. Do you lie your way out of things? Nope, but you’ll never know, will you?? MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

444. Are you better at talking or listening? I think I’m great at both, but I guess it depends on who I’m with 🙂

445. What will only happen to you once in this lifetime? My kids will only be this age once. *sigh*

446. Know of any conspiracy theories you think might be credible? Yes. My kids conspire daily to get the better of me and outsmart me. Sometimes they win. It’s sad.

447. What are the most beautiful words that have ever been spoken to you? “Will you marry me?” and “It’s a boy!” (twice!) and “It’s a girl!” …also at the top of the list: “the kids are asleep…”

448. If it were legal would you own a human slave (race unimportant)? No.

449. Have you ever read your own writing at a poetry reading? In school, yes. I wrote a lot of poems in highschool. Not the moody “Im drowning in a sea of darkness…” stuff. Funny goofy stuff about sharks, spoons and adventures in Africa.

450. What is one simple thing that gives you the happy shivers? When the clock strikes 4pm and I know Tim is coming home to me 🙂

451. What do you do for exercise? I have children and then chase them around.

452. Would you rather have a strict teacher with a sense of humor or a lenient teacher that doesn’t teach? I’ve had both and liked both.

453. If you ever have a baby what might you want to name it? No more babies for me. I’m happy to have the three that I have.

Till Next Time,



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