I’m Bein’ Sneaky!

Dear Diary,

Well first off, I’m so irritated with myself today because I went to order my basket this morning and I guess I hadn’t seen that the deadline to order them was last night at 10pm. Ugh. Lame sauce. So no basket this week, but I will start that next week. However, my goal of eating healthier has already begun! The kids had some toast, applesauce, an egg and a big glass of milk for breakfast this morning. And so far today they have been…total nightmares. Haha, this better not be the result of the healthier food! But seriously though, they enjoyed breakfast and I enjoyed watching them enjoy it! I have decided to cut out soda from my diet. I think I’ll allow myself no more than 1 soda per week. I hate that I made that decision, but I think it’s for the best and I don’t think I’ll regret it. Now I’ve got to find some substitute for my addiction to that corrosive, acidic, bubbly, sugary, wonderful, delicious,….oh HELP!!!! I made myself some iced tea yesterday which was nice, but not the same as soda 😦 <insert pity party here> Eh, I will get over it and eventually I think I will be glad I dropped it. What I really need to do is drink more water. I hate drinking water though. Unless its SUPER cold. *sigh*

So when you see this photo, what do you think I am doing?

If you guessed, “Smelling your armpits.” DING DING DING!!! You have guessed correctly.

You all know my favorite word and personal philosophy is “fabulous.” I am always looking for new and different ways to be so. Lately I’ve noticed all these little tricky things I do in public to maintain my fabulousity whenever possible. Of course, if you’ve read my blog, you know that these little tricks are anything but fail-proof, but they do help sometimes. I thought I’d share some of them with you! They really only work on ladies though haha, you may get some funny glances if you guy who read this try them 🙂

Let us begin with the above photo and the sweaty scenario: I bring my arm up and run my fingers through my hair while acting as though I am looking down beside me, take a good whiff and then I bring my arm back forward around my face and then down. Just coyly sniffed my underarm and freshened up my hair! Killed 2 birds with one stone! Now, I used to be a proponent of crossing my arms and stuffing my hands under my arm pits and then bringing on back out to “rub my nose” while I checked the odor. But honestly, I did it in front of the mirror one time and I thought, “Woah, having my hands all up in my pits looks so unnatural!” Besides, by now, everyone knows that move and it fools no one 🙂

Next “DON’T” would be doing this if you have something in your teeth…

Fabulous? I think not. The key here is to use your thumb and keep your fist relatively closed and do it it quick and subtly. This is only to be used when a swish of your drink doesn’t loosen the offending leaf of parsley and your tongue fails to get it out within 2 seconds. Here’s how to do it: start in the arms crossed position and then bring one arm up and keeping all your fingers together, use your thumb to quickly scrape off whatever little monster is lurking on your tooth and then bring your arm back down casually. The key to this is staying engaged with the person your talking to while you do this so that they don’t notice it as much.  Then use your napkin to permanently rid your thumb of whatever you got.

 

You can really only get away with this for about 5-7 seconds and it’s for last ditch efforts on ONE tooth, don’t go all dentist on yourself and give all your teeth a good scraping. If you think all your teeth have stuff on them, head to the bathroom stat.

Well, the kids need me, so I gotta go be “mommy” now, more of the same tomorrow 🙂

Till Next Time,

Ashley

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “I’m Bein’ Sneaky!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s