Day 1

I’m super busy with 3 kids to myself and homework, so for the next few weeks, you’ll be reading my daily email updates to Tim, who is away for job training in Baltimore, Maryland…

Dear T.J.

Well, I’ve survived (sorta) Day 1. The second we got home, Jadon started acting out and got 2 spankings within the first 10 minutes. Good gracious. It was madness. Thankfully I didn’t have to spank him once after that. He did good. We got done with breakfast, made a paper chain to count down the days till you come back, watched Peter Pan, I fed Matthew, cut Jadon’s hair and gave both kids a bath. When we got back downstairs, it was only 9:30am. The morning had gone by SO slowly. We ate an early lunch around 11:30am and then Lilly went down for a nap at 12:15 or so once she decided her only means of communication would be screaming. Seriously?! I kept Jadon up from a nap today hoping it will help him get to sleep easier tonight. We’ll see. As of now, he is up with me watching Kung Fu Panda. For not having a nap at all today, he is has been doing quite well. After naps, which for Matthew and Lilly ended aroun 2:45pm, we headed up to my folks house and though no one was going to be home, my mom had said I could go in with my key and wait for them to get home. We drove all the way up there and I realized I had left the key to my parent’s house in my other purse. At home. *sigh* I was so irritated with myself. I took the kids to the mall and let them play at the playplace while I fed Matthew and talked to you on the phone. Then I packed them back up and put them back into the car and met my dad at the house where he let us in. We had bean and cheese chimichangas for dinner that my mom made and they were quite delicious! The kids liked them as well and each of them ate their entire half and then had the ever-popular fruit snacks for dessert. Matthew cried off and on all through dinner and once we were done and the kids had gone out back to play with my parents, I got him up and fed him. I kept looking up at the couch expecting to see you there and then feeling dissapointed everytime. Matthew ate pretty well and then my mom held him for a but while the kids played inside until it was time to go. I was not looking forward to coming home to an empty house, having to get all 3 kids to bed and tell them for the um-teenth time that no, you would not be coming home in the morning, doing homework by myself and then going to bed alone with no snuggle buddy…for the next few weeks. I was glad it was dark on the way home and the kids were tired and quiet. I cranked up the music and cried most of the way home. I felt like such an idiot. I know moms and wives whose husbands leave for months at a time to serve our country in the military and I knew they would likely shake their heads in disbelief at me for crying about 2.5 measly weeks. My current excuse is that i’m only 9 weeks post partum and that maybe I’ve got some leftover hormones raging…oh well. I really hope this gets better. I hate feeling so sad. I am coming to visit you in a week and a half and I literally can’t wait. You know how much I love you and being with you. It’s just not home when you’re not here. I had the hardest time getting the trashcan out of the sideyard to take to the curb for tomorrows pick-up. Then I cried again mostly out of frustration. I have not cried so much in a LONG time. I hate crying. Ugh. I can’t believe this is only Day 1. Feels like day 4 or 5 already. I hope every day doesn’t go by so slowly. Hopefully tomorrow’s email won’t be so sad and lame.

All My Love,
Ashley

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One thought on “Day 1

  1. Hey I wanted to tell you that you are NOT alone…wanna hear my sadness…
    *I have cried because I didn’t want Jerry to leave or because he had left on his regular weekly Tuesday Night Guy’s Hang Night.
    *I cried HARD every day when He was gone for 5 days with his Mom to California because He needed an escape from some stresses.
    *I cry when he spends too much time working and I haven’t gotten to see Him enough.

    Now I have cried during pregnancy, after and around pregnancy and WELL WELL after even now when my youngest is approaching her 5th b-day. It may be so stupid to anyone else but Hey I love spending time with my hubby that’s why we are married. I love having help with our family life and daily routines. I had a melt down just last week because I was alone doing what we had been doing together after school hours (and my friend was over too but I still wanted him there) now that’s sad.

    I don’t care though…I cry and often it will lead me to something constructive like putting away the 3 basket fulls of laundry I have tried to avoid. Other times I just cry and eat something yummy, cry some more and sleep…

    Be encouraged…You are NOT alone and this will be a hard and long 2.5 weeks because you love Tim and that’s ok. Find things to do that bring joy and just keep pressing on. You will be ONE VICTORIOUS MOMMY when he returns regardless if you cry or not. 2.5 weeks…i’d be balling my eyes out at any stage in our family’s growth. Here is a big hug!!! You can do it! YOU will be great!

    I look forward to your blogs gal..keep em coming!

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