Time Flies So Fast!

Dear Diary,

So today I was on the phone on hold for the financial aid office at the college I’m attending this fall and I had been on hold already for like 20 minutes when all of the sudden my phone decides it’s time to restart… UGH! So irritating. I really hate being on hold for things, it irks me. I don’t know why, but it does.

Today was Matthew’s first check-up with our pediatrician! He is doing GREAT! He weighs 7lbs 14 oz and Dr. Jones said he is very pleased with how he is doing so far. Next appointment will be at 4 weeks. I can’t believe my baby-est baby will be 1 week tomorrow. Time certainly flies when you’re having fun, and we are! I am so enjoying having Tim home this last week and for this week. We are blessed that his work allows him to take so much time off.

So far, I’ve been able to keep the Baby Blues in check. Mostly, I get sad when I think about Tim having to leave and go to Baltimore for 3 weeks in September. Other than that, nothing really makes me sad or depresses me. Although the other night, I had a breakdown when Matthew decided to just keep eating and eating and eating at 2 o’clock in the morning and I had only gotten about 45 minutes of sleep so far that night. I was so tired and had to suppliment with some formula because I had run out of milk for him since ate so much in such a short period of time and he wouldn’t stop crying because he was hungry. Luckily, I have a great hubby who got up and rocked him and fed him some formula to give him a break. I felt like things were going to be this way forever and that I was never going to get any sleep and I felt like it was my fault that we had to give him formula. I just sat on the bed holding a pillow and sobbed fow awhile. It felt good to cry for a little while. Sometimes it can be like a “reset” button and it was. I fell asleep and slept for 3.5 hours until Matthew woke up for his next feeding. It’s hard for me to even let myself experience “normal” baby blues because I am so afraid it will lead to the depression and psychosis I had with Jadon. I am trying to relax and just enjoy this stage of first smiles and looking around in wide-eyed wonder and not be so paranoid about my emotions. It really has helped having Tim home so much. He only had a few days off after I had Jadon and he had to start back to work just as things had started to go downhill. I feel like the worst of the blues for this baby is behind me now. Of course my hormones are still on the fritz and I find I am lacking in patience more than usual, but hopefully that will be getting better soon too.

Jadon asked to hold Matthew last night for the first time while we were at my mom’s house and of course we jumped at the opportunity and my mom pulled out the camera to capture the moment.

Notice the little smile on Matthew’s face 🙂 Too sweet. It was so cute!

Well, our little Bear has blue eyes! (So far anyway) Both Jadon and Lilly were born with dark brown eyes like mine and I was hoping that Matthew would have eyes like Tim. Well, they aren’t exactly like Tim’s, but they are a deep navy blue and so beautiful 🙂

Okay let’s get back to doing some Questions and Answers:

263. Who is the greatest philosopher of your country? Not really familiar with current American philosophers

264. If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go? What a question, do you really want me to answer this seriously? Haha… the short of it is: we promise money we don’t have, we spend money we don’t have and we make money we don’t have.

265. Is it as easy to make you happy now as it was when you were a child? It’s actually probably easier as I have a greater appreciation for the little things 🙂

266. Who knows more…you, or your parents? It depends upon what we are talking about. I know more about certain things and they know more about certain things. They definately have more life knowledge and experience which is why I always appreciate any advice they offer!

267. What instrument would you like to be famous for playing? The piano or guitar I suppose

Till next Time!

Ashley

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