So last night my little sister, Aly graduated from highschool! Very cool and exciting. I was so glad I was able to make it to the ceremony as I’d had a contraction-free day! It was really funny though sitting there with Tim who I had graduated with 5 years previous and think to myself, “Woah, we got MARRIED a few months after graduating! -Crazy!” Now I understand a little better why our parents were so hesitant at first about the arrangement. We were very blessed though that they all jumped on board and supported our marriage:) I was talking to my mom yesterday and saying how crazy it is that Tim and I are coming up on our 5th wedding anniversary already! I cannot believe it’s been almost five years. Seems like such a long time. But, on the other hand, as my mom reminded me, we have crammed SO much into those 5 years that’s it seems like, “Wow! All this and we’re only 5 years in?” We have had a whirlwind of a marriage so far and had so many experiences that have stregthened and solidified our marriage. It’s kind of sad to me, but in this society, not too out of place, that people who haven’t seen me in awhile usually ask, “Oh, are you and Tim still together?” I have to hold my tongue to keep from saying, “Uh YEAH, why wouldn’t we be?” Instead, I just say, “Yep! You bet!” or something like that. Of course our marriage is not perfect in any sense, but we both know this and “work on it.” Of course it does help to have the examples of awesome marriages from our parents and grandparents. We have learned many things from them all mostly by their actions and attitudes toward each other. We can see the results of what many years of putting your spouse first always has come to and it’s beautiful.
So what are our “secrets”? Well, here are some of our philosophies about marriage:
1.) Always keep God at the center of the relationship. – This one, to us, is the most important key to having a successful marriage. No matter what happens, always choosing to focus on Him makes the crazy world happening around us seem less crazy and more manageable.
2.) He makes me feel loved, I make him feel respected. -This is probably the second most important to us. We find that we avoid so many little stupid arguments if we remember this: Women want love above all else and Men want to be respected. So Tim goes out of his way to make sure I am secure in our relationship and that I know that he loves me. While he knows that while I may not always agree with him, that i respect him in all areas of our relationship.
3.) Never resign yourself to “growing-up” – Tim and I, while we have a great many more responsibilities than we did when we were in highschool, still act like highschoolers! (In the good ways of course -haha) We still joke around a lot and make each other cry laughing, we still dance around in public places not caring who sees, we still make out in our cars, we still play video games together and we still hold hands. Why resign yourself to become an “old married couple” when you don’t have to? Best friends we started out as, and best friends we will always stay.
4.) We find the humor in things – Neither of us are too somber to laugh at ourselves and other people too! We tell each other jokes, we act like total dorks just to make the other one laugh and we communicate sometimes from across the room soley with our silly faces. Give us a crappy circumstance or situation and you will still find us laughing. Why? Because we choose silly over stress.
I love this quote from Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116:
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken
Okay, now it’s time for some questions and…answers!
145. Who would you bring with you on this kind of a road trip? I guess this refers to the cross country hitchhiking question from last time. I would bring Tim and the kids!
146. Of the following, which word best describes you: accurate, bold, charming, dependable? Wow, I am not sure. I would think dependable.
147. If you are single, at about what age do you think you will be ready to settle down and get married? If you are married, how old were you at the time? I was 18 when Tim and I tied the knot:)
148. Do you often wonder, when you say goodbye to people, if it is the last time you will ever see them? Sometimes.
149. What movie are you most looking forward to seeing when it comes out? Not really looking forward to anything in particular right now.
Till Next Time!