Conspiracy Theory

Dear Diary,

This morning I woke up and went to lather my belly in cocoa butter and gasped in horror! Stretching the entire length of my belly from top to bottom were these ridiculous red marks. I was so mad, I have been so faithful to rub my stretchmark cream on my belly at least twice per day! Anger turned to panic as I frantically lathered up with more lotion, I was now applying lotion with a vengence…I would show these huge red lines who was boss and then….I realized they were “sleep lines” from the wrinkles of my sheets. I have never been happier to feel so stupid:)

I think my kids are conspiring against me…seriously! I can hear them talking in their hushed little voices and I am sure it’s a conversation along the lines of, “Okay how can we help our Mommy grow in patience today??” You think I’m kidding, but I’m not. Exhibit A: Yesterday, I spent a lot of time in the restroom with the stomach thing I had and once while I was in there, I could hear them whispering outside the door and down the hall. I tried to hear what they were saying, but couldn’t quite make it out so I washed my hands and whipped open the door and said, “Hey kids, whatcha doin?” They both looked at each other and then at me and said almost in unison, “We love you Mommy” and then both ran away giggling. Now tell me that’s not suspicious. Also I found them plucking leaves off my fake ivy later and throwing them at each other…grrrrr…Then later, as I was walking down the stairs after putting them down for afternoon naps, I stumbled on a very strategically placed lego block and twisted my ankle…the evidence is piling up and I’m keeping my eye on those little goofballs;)

I am so SO excited to try the babywearing! I think I’ve figured out a good plan for getting Baby to nap in the wrap… I think I will just start having Baby take a morning snooze or 2 with me in the wrap in the mornings while the kids are up and about playing so that A: Baby is used to the noise and movement while sleeping and   B: I can take Baby out in the mornings and she/he will be able to nap.  and then I will put Baby in the portacrib or cradle for afternoon nap(s) so that we can all have some downtime and the older kids can nap too in the afternoon! And it’ll work perfectly for when we go to Disneyland because we’ll be there all morning, so Baby will be used to taking a nap in the wrap then and then in the afternoon when we all go back to the hotel for naps, he/she can sleep in the portacrib! Heehee! AHHH! I am so stoked! I learned some more “carries” today even one that will allow me to breastfeed in public if I want to! I am not sure about that one tho, I will have to practice it a lot at home before I try it out in public to make doubly sure there will be no peep shows:)

Okay, it’s time for the survey part:

26. Who has done something today to show they care about you? My husband:) He woke me with a big smile and a nice hug!

27. Do you have a lot to learn? Definately! I have not yet completely mastered the art of pretending to know everything:)

28. If you could learn how to do three things just by wishing and not by working what would they be?

1.) Speak Creole (spoken language in Haiti)

2.) Play piano really well.

3.) Play guitar really well!

29. Which do you remember the longest: what other people say, what other people do or how other people make you feel? Interesting…I guess I would have to say, I remember longest what people say.

30. What are the key ingredients to having a good relationship? God, trust, love and humor:) Also, dancing:)

31. What 3 things do you want to do before you die?

1.) Go back to Haiti many times:)

2.) Make my kids and husband proud.

3.) Go to Scotland.

32. What three things would you want to die to avoid doing? I don’t like this question, so let’s not answer this one:)

33. Is there a cause you believe in more than any other cause? The cause of Christ….wow that sounded very “Sunday School” of me, haha but it’s true:)

34. What does each decade make you think of:

The 19..

20’s: Speak easys and flappers:)

30’s: A photo of my greatgrandma in a flour sac dress because it was The Great Depression.

40’s: Glamour to the max;) Old Hollywood and I Love Lucy.

50’s: Sock hops, the beach boys and surfing in Cali.

60’s: Audrey Hepburn and fab sunglasses and The Beatles

70’s: long straight hair, the “Ferrah-do”, platform shoes and James Taylor

80’s: The Cosby Show and Ronald Reagan

90’s: Ewww I’d rather forget that decade, there was nothing so great about grunge music, lame hair, tamagotchis and giga pets, fake tans, belly shirts and those hideous clunky brown sandals I made my mom buy me in 6th grade.

2000 (so far): Highschool, 9-11, Proms, drama, my first good boyfriend, getting engaged, getting married and having babies, buying a house, getting a dog! Wow, full decade! haha

2010’s: New baby, bright future!

Whew! That last one was extensive, but fun:) Well, we may be going out to dinner with my in-laws tonight, hopefully we won’t get any fodder for crazy stories on here:) hehe, I just have to make sure both kids get a good nap so that they are in good spirits!

Till Next Time,

Ashley

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One thought on “Conspiracy Theory

  1. HA HA HA!!! I believe the conspiracy and have often thought that enough credit is not given to these really very masterminded kiddos! LOL!

    Anyhoo…thought I’d share some N.I.P. tips…hehe…”Nursing In Public” tips that might prove helpful to you. One of the best tricks that really worked well for me was LAYERS. If you wear a tank top (like the kind with the built in bra) then you can put whatever other shirt on over that and so you have one shirt always down (the tank) and the other shirt lifts up keeping the top of you covered, then you have your blanket or whatever you use to go over your shoulder and the baby as a covering. This also works well with covering your body while you go back to normal size…extra skin and all that…it’s not like right after you have a baby you’re wanting your middle body to show…hehe…I have a lot of helpful tips so please ask me if you have questions. I was a modest nurser but did both my 2 younger kiddos exclusive nursing until 14months…adding in solids of course but no formula…I have faced latch problems, overcome problems, studied a whole bunch, thought about becomming a lactation consultant like Bombi was working towards and had her as great info too. 🙂

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